It felt poignant to publish this on March 19th, the anniversary of the last day I went to work in "normal times". We watered the plants, I made sure to take the banana out of my snack drawer, and we closed the doors, expecting to be back in a couple weeks. I mean, we all know how that went.
At the time I was about 12 weeks pregnant and felt relieved that by time the baby came in October, this would all be over with. Again, we all know how that went.
This was a weirder than normal pregnancy, and these are the things I want to remember about it.
- The day I found out I was pregnant we were trying to talk about it without "talking" about it in front of the girls. We took them outside and watched them ride bikes while talking a little, but mostly just staring and doing that thing where you seem like you may say something, but then nothing comes out.
- I ended up going to my first OB appointment alone because daycare was closed unexpectedly. This was in February, and I had no idea that I would end up going to every single appointment alone. They confirmed the pregnancy and I texted Brian that there was "ONE HEALTHY BABY!" while they were still doing the ultrasound. (first concern is always a healthy baby, followed closely by the possibility that there's a second one hiding in there...)
- Covid things were escalating alongside my nausea and exhaustion. I vividly recall the day I spent my lunch break laying underneath my desk, using my emergency backpack for a pillow, while Sara watched CNN and we listened to Trump talk about bailing out the cruise companies.
- I had a hard time sleeping early on, so I had come out to the living room in the middle of the night. I was awoken by what I thought was our building falling down. Nope, just the biggest earthquake I've ever experienced. Fun!
- Brian went back to work about a month after quarantine started. I continued to work from home and tried my best to keep the girls happy. Our days included many viewings of Frozen 2, daily outside time, so many craft kits from Joann's, and a daily nap for me and June while Norah got iPad time. Also, for the duration of my morning sickness times, the girls ate mostly lunchables and pb&j for lunch, and I ate canned ravioli like 4 times a week.
- Not pregnancy related, but during this time Norah suddenly decided that sleeping in her own bed was the lamest, and climbed into bed with us every night. After a couple weeks we set up a floor bed for her, and every morning I would wake up to her next to the bed, snoozing away.
- We borrowed a home doppler per the recommendation of my midwife. There were many nights where we would wait to make sure Norah was done with her nightly routine of getting out of bed 12 times (this is making me realize and appreciate that she just goes to bed and sleeps now. What a dream!) and then Brian would find the baby’s heartbeat with the doppler while I laid on the couch and we would just listen to it for a while.
- I did not mind isolation in that it meant I got hardly any comments from strangers regarding my body/pregnancy/thoughts on epidurals.
- We told the girls after a 14 week ultrasound looked good. Norah was very very excited and June seemed happy, if mostly oblivious. This led to a summer of pregnant Elsas (and newborn babies...).
- As I mentioned, I had to go to all my OB appointments alone. It wasn't that bad, especially since the majority were virtual, but I had a definite pang of sadness during the big 20 week ultrasound. I was facetiming with Brian during the whole thing, but I was far from the monitor and my arm got tired holding up my phone and the girls (understandably) lost interest about 4 minutes in.
- I was very #blessed that Ashley was also pregnant all summer, so we could just text each other constantly about how miserable pregnancy was and try to brainstorm any food options that didn't sound disgusting.
- I moved to in-person appointments for most of the third trimester and for my veeeery last one, Brian got to come along to get his flu shot. It was a very low-key appointment, but he got to hear the heartbeat filling up the room and it was a moment of lovely normalcy during a very weird time.
Pregnancy is a lot, a third pregnancy is a lot, and a third pregnancy during a pandemic is a lot. It was hard and I cried a whole bunch. But I do think it helped keep me sane. I was progressing towards something, even during a period where time seemed irrelevant, and nothing was happening. It gave me something to look forward to when news and politics made me spiral. It was a bright spot for our family when we had all been in the house together way too much. And luckily, all the anxiety and crying and crap becomes an afterthought once that fresh baby is handed to you for the very first time.
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