fall in the sea, fall in the noise, like you know me.

guys, i know i come across as extremely well-rounded, awesome, and well-adjusted. it may come as a shock to you that i am also deeply flawed.

for example:

my average laundry "dryer to dresser" time is 3 days.

i shush inanimate objects. (usually when i'm the only one awake, and knocking over things in the kitchen)

i hate going to the post office.

i'm really terrible at returning phone calls.

i still find it acceptable to say things like "let's blow this popsicle stand."

i sometimes obsess. often over things that don't matter. but sometimes over things that do. almost always over things i have no control over.

and finally, i hate hate hate waiting. i've been trying to be patient my whole life. but as it turns out, i'm not very good at it. i hate waiting for my pasta to cook. i hate waiting in line at the grocery store. i hate waiting for my hair to grow. i hate waiting for movies to come out. and mostly, i hate when the waiting has no end in sight. when maybe it's better to stop waiting. but how do you stop?

asking vague hypothetical questions and expecting an answer. that's getting added to the flaw list.

inept. in many forms.

here's the thing.


i like to pretend that i'm crafty. i read crafty blogs and star posts thinking "psh, i could totally do that." (i couldn't) i've attended various "crafting" parties....but rarely finish whatever the project was. i knit things....but often i make the scarves wider than intended....and run out of yarn....and have to turn it into a "neck cozy".  (true story)


and sometimes i try to build bookshelves...
and they end up looking like this.



and yes, i maybe could have taken my clothes off the shelf before documenting my inept building skills. i'll just add "photographing craftiness" onto the long list of things i'm not very good at.


i tried to redeem myself in a little battle called "lacy vs. the contact paper" [cue impressive gong sound]


this was the end result.





luckily the photo is far enough away that it looks preeeeetty good. (pat on the back for lacy)


also pictured are the tools that made it all possible. my surprisingly crappy scissors, a razor (who made up for the nonexistent work morale of the scissors), a summer photo cd used for smoothing, post-it's in lieu of tape, and my serial killers book for moral support. (and maybe like a weight or something)


not pictured  - brand new/old vinyl purchased mere hours before, during an impromptu record store drop by. (it's probably going to be a bad thing that it's conveniently located on my route home from work) said records maintained my sanity through this grueling 15-minutes process. (edit. upon review you can glimpse the records in the before picture. see! i wasn't lying...)


this $13 walmart bookcase has officially been more trouble than it was worth. next time i'll just keep my clothes in organized piles on the floor...

headlines.

easily the best part of my day.

winter is all over you.

for all those concerned co-workers, passers-by, and people eating in the food court;


i did not acquire a new leg tattoo over the weekend.



i just have cool tights.


also - it's my 100th post. if that's not worthy of a leg-tattoo debunking, i don't know what is.

belated and abbreviated new year's post.

if years were like extended family members, 2010 was the coke-head cousin who crashed at your place after escaping the law and thanked you by setting your couch on fire.

here's to hoping that 2011 is more like the aunt who crochets her own socks, but dances without her wig on every once in a while.

happy (belated) new year.                 

photos found here, here, and here.

and again.

wow. i need to find a word other than great to describe my internet finds. but until that happens....

this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me.

http://whenparentstext.com/

i sometimes can't wait to have children to send embarassing text messages to.

home.

i know i say this a lot but.....


this might be the greatest thing ever.

why i like christmas. a story in 3 parts.

Part Three.


as previously mentioned, my family is pretty cool. i really like them sometimes.


notable moments.


my family discussing wimbledon over dinner. (not the actual tournament. the paul bettany/kirsten dunst romantic dramedy.)


my brother being cast as joseph in my mom's church's christmas eve program. 

he was not pleased.


the deliberation over his costume that led to the uttering of the following sentence "Joseph wouldn't wear a trenchcoat."


there were definitely more, but i find myself distracted. also, the sound of music is on and i'm told it should command my full attention.


lacy - out.