text saved on my phone. part 7.

more here


(also, pre-apologies to brian who i promised would be included in this batch. i'm more behind than i realized)

"she’s made of iron, I assure you she can” yeah I’m struggling with that too.

Well let’s not get hasty. I mean, who would Winston door-stalk if not for you.

Welfare check.

How’s life? Post-grad sucks. The movie too.

America, megaphone, Monday….butthole

I won’t braid your hair.

Don’t worry, they have been mauled by many before. Never by an idahoean though!! Is that what your people are called?

Dirty D! Whadduuuup young money??

White house? Nothing big. Secret service? Oh yeah that’s them. The newest hip bands? Got them. Ironic fashions? I’m there.

More of a synth and leg warmers way, really. 

As Tyson would say, I’d be “wierded out.” 

Do you know of any dinosaurs that breathed fire? My mom is convinced there is one… 

The shit hitteth the fan. eth.

Deceptively simple marketing man!

Will smith is my kryptonite. There I said it.

I’ve seemed to have lost my pants…

Your mom is having a swiffer crisis.

Thanks, so I can have cleaning products again right?

I hardly even know what those words mean! You Davis, are small town no more!!

I hate today. It’s official.

Yes we did. However…she took some feet pictures that you probably won’t approve of.


Hey nate its bruce you got a half single? (this was from a guy [bruce presumably] who has tried to solicit drugs from me on no fewer than four occasions)