I decided to look through the 35 or so blog posts that have been abandoned in my drafts folder. Often it's just a sentence or paragraph that I meant to come back to and fill in with an entire post. Here are some of them that just never quite happened.
my life summed up in a text message.
"don't judge me! i'm a college graduate with no direction. getting ten hours of sleep a night is one of the only things i have going for me"
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pretty sure i scared the workers at J.Crew today for lusting after their window displays past the point of social acceptance.
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one of my greatest fears is having someone walk in on me when i'm using the bathroom. i lock the door when i'm home alone. i will never be one of those girls who just uses the bathroom while her husband is brushing his teeth. because I WOULD RATHER DIE.
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lately i've become extremely bored with people's facebook status updates. [and yes, i know it speaks volumes about my life that i have time not only to read the updates, but to critique them] however, i think there are some easy ways to make your status update more interesting, and thus, making my facebook experience better. there are ways to improve even the most mundane of updates. you can simply look at the situation from a different angle. so instead of saying so and so needs to do laundry, you could say so and so is out of underwear. same situation, way more better.
another example. i often see people's status' saying something along the lines of "brendi is really tired" well, guess what brendi. reading your status made ME tired. why not detail the circumstances leading to your exhaustion? for example, "brendi was up way too late macking with a hot new fella." Thanks brendi. I'm now creepily over-involved in your life. But at least you kept me interested...and think of the comments you'll inspire!
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springtime. i can sense it. like how my coworkers can sense it's nearly five when i start clorox wiping my desk.
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marriage really is fun. like...i feel like there are more small moments you can have when you live together. which i enjoy. even when those small moments involve brian doing his jimmy stewart impersonation. (you guys. it's so bad)
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one Halloween i was toting around my full plastic bag full of candy (i didn't have one of those fancy plastic pumpkins) when i had to double back for my mom, who was prooobably not quite as excited as I was. on my way back i noticed an apple on the sidewalk that looked very similar to an apple i had received at a door a few houses down (i won't even get into the injustice of receiving an APPLE while trick-or-treating). that's when i realized i had been trailing candy from a slow leak in my inferior bag for an unknown amount of time. halloween was RUINED.
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the thing about being married is that it kind of safeguards from doing as many stupid things. partly, because there is someone usually around that you don't want to do stupid things in front of. but mostly, for me at least, because most of the stupid things i did were directly related to my being single.
i legitimately felt like for at least two years i was calling hailey every week and being like, so here's the latest ridiculous thing i've done. dated someone i didn't like, made out with someone random, texted an ex-boyfriend, made out with an ex-boyfriend, let an ex-boyfriend come over. (a lot of stuff involving ex-boyfriends)
it's almost strange to call hailey now and not have something to confess to her.
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i'm not going to pretend anymore.
i hate january. it's a waste of a month. that's when all the worst movies come out. that's when all the holidays are over and we're all fatter because of it. that's when the gyms are too crowded and it's waaaay too cold to go outside. january is the month where i get gloomy and suddenly lose ambition to do much more than sit on the couch with a stack of books and some tv seasons.
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here's the thing about birthdays. i like the idea of having a party or some kind of social gathering. but it makes me feel real awkward to force people to celebrate my existence.
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well. i'm glad those are out on the internet now.
and i'm aware that this was the blog equivalent of a clips show.
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