i am a masochist.
a bold statement. and one brought on by the fact that today i'm wearing the shoes that less than a week ago were causing me to hobble around in pain. why? because no pair of shoes will best me. and why else? because they matched my dress the best...
but thinking about it between each fresh step of regret, i realize there is more evidence to support this claim. i do things i shouldn't all the time. things that i know i shouldn't, that will almost certainly cause pain later.
i stay up late even though i know what time i have to wake up every morning. i spend too much money. i date boys i shouldn't (and for too long.) i procrastinate to the point of ridiculousness.
but don't we all do that? and...isn't it kind of fun? that's why dessert tastes so good. that's why kissing ex-boyfriends is so fun. that's why staying up for ooooone more episode of 30 Rock is so satisfying. i think you have to soak up the happiness before the pain inevitably comes.
and i kind of think that's just part of being human. that's how we learn. and it's good to be aware of it. but...it's still going to happen. even though i know better. and even though these shoes may cause me to lose the ability to walk. i'm just going to relish it. and maybe learn from it. but...probably not.
Oh Lacy I couldn't have said any of this any better. It is so true, it is my first week of graduate school and what do I do the night before I have to turn in all the homework from day one. I get drunk with a new class mate, while we are doing our homework.
ReplyDeleteDo you think I turned in quality work, well its worse I turned in my class mates by accident at 12:30am instead of mine, because well the wine had gotten the best of me. Did I mention my classes start at 7am......
I know all to well of doing the same thing over and over again knowing the outcome won't be good and yet I do it, maybe subconsciously hoping I will get a different result? Isn't that the definition of insanity??
LOL I love it.