Firstly, I get it. My maternity leave with Norah was not an
idyllic experience. I spent all day in a basement apartment that had sunlight
for approximately two hours of the day. Because of the heavy wood paneling and
tinted lamp shade, my memories of that period are very brown and yellow, like a
seventies flashback (or that instagram filter everyone is using right now). I had a car that had maybe ran well at one time, but never had
in the few months since we had purchased it from a random guy in the avenues
when I was 7 months pregnant. I had a baby who nursed for 40 minutes at a time
every two hours, and who did not feel the need to ever go to bed. Instead she would stare at me calmly all through the night while I blearily watched
Gilmore Girls and read online forums on how to get my baby to sleep. I
had undiagnosed PPA which added a film of just out of reach panic to most of my waking hours. I
loved (and love) Norah. I loved cuddling her and her giant gummy smile. I loved her rolls
on rolls on rolls. I loved how much she loved napping on my chest. And at the time I figured this was just everyone's experience with a tiny baby. So my expectations were set for maternity leave this time around.
When Juniper arrived, I was already off to a much better
start. I had my Zoloft prescription. I had an airy second floor apartment with giant windows right above the couch, so I basked in
vitamin D all day. I had a baby who cared way more about sleeping and started
doing long night stretches right away. I had a body that was SO HAPPY to not
be pregnant anymore I felt like I could do cartwheels, even though I've never
been able to do cartwheels. Maybe most importantly, this time I had
coffee. I also had a toddler that I love to death and her schedule of preschool drop off gave my day a lot of structure. Norah's nighttime routine also helped the
time pass quickly during that 5-7pm period when I tended to get the worst of the baby
blues. I'm accustomed to life with a 3 year old,
and the very small amount of lounging that comes along with it. Being able to
just sit with a sleeping baby and watch all the tv was...heaven. And for all the challenges that come along with being a
working mom, being able to send Norah to preschool while I was on maternity leave
was not one of them.
My days had a loose schedule. Once I had dropped off Norah and we got back home, I would make some breakfast and gather all the essentials for my day on the couch. My kindle, all the snacks, remote, phone charger and like 8 water bottles. Juniper would get some floor/tummy time while I ate breakfast. Once a week or so I would check my work e-mail to see if there was anyone who had ignored my out of office response. Then I would settle in to nurse June. Sometimes I would read, or scroll on my phone, but mostly I watched all the shows I had been hoarding for this very purpose. (My favorites were Schitt's Creek and Marvelous Ms. Maisel.) Juniper took 90% of her naps on me during this time. And I REVELED in it. At some point I would get around to making lunch, usually a sandwich or some hot pockets. (sidebar. I haven't eaten hot pockets in probably 8 years. But they became a go-to because they can be cooked and eaten entirely with one hand.) Also there was an entire week where I had a slice of cheesecake every day with my lunch. No regrets. (I was not going to waste a delicious gifted cheesecake.) More floor time with Juniper if she was up for it (newborns are tired!) and I'd try to do at least one thing on the weekly to-do list I kept on my phone. Often it was laundry. (newborns are messy!). As Juniper's awake time grew, sometimes I would stretch or do yoga next to her, or just relish in being able to lay on my stomach. Brian would get home and get in a cuddle with Juniper before he picked up Norah. Then everyone was home and the night was a blur of dinners and bathtimes and goodnights until I was back on the couch holding the baby till bedtime. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I mostly just wanted to write about this so I can remember this unique window of time that can't be repeated. I want to remember the hours I spent cuddling and nursing Juniper, listening to her hiccups, drinking tea and coffee, and eating bags and bags of Nature Valley granola. 13 1/2 weeks where I was able to burrow in with my new baby, memorize her sweet face, and rest and care for myself. I feel beyond lucky to have gotten this experience and it's a golden time I will always treasure.
And now, 8 pictures of Juniper sleeping, because really that was all of my day.
My days had a loose schedule. Once I had dropped off Norah and we got back home, I would make some breakfast and gather all the essentials for my day on the couch. My kindle, all the snacks, remote, phone charger and like 8 water bottles. Juniper would get some floor/tummy time while I ate breakfast. Once a week or so I would check my work e-mail to see if there was anyone who had ignored my out of office response. Then I would settle in to nurse June. Sometimes I would read, or scroll on my phone, but mostly I watched all the shows I had been hoarding for this very purpose. (My favorites were Schitt's Creek and Marvelous Ms. Maisel.) Juniper took 90% of her naps on me during this time. And I REVELED in it. At some point I would get around to making lunch, usually a sandwich or some hot pockets. (sidebar. I haven't eaten hot pockets in probably 8 years. But they became a go-to because they can be cooked and eaten entirely with one hand.) Also there was an entire week where I had a slice of cheesecake every day with my lunch. No regrets. (I was not going to waste a delicious gifted cheesecake.) More floor time with Juniper if she was up for it (newborns are tired!) and I'd try to do at least one thing on the weekly to-do list I kept on my phone. Often it was laundry. (newborns are messy!). As Juniper's awake time grew, sometimes I would stretch or do yoga next to her, or just relish in being able to lay on my stomach. Brian would get home and get in a cuddle with Juniper before he picked up Norah. Then everyone was home and the night was a blur of dinners and bathtimes and goodnights until I was back on the couch holding the baby till bedtime. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I mostly just wanted to write about this so I can remember this unique window of time that can't be repeated. I want to remember the hours I spent cuddling and nursing Juniper, listening to her hiccups, drinking tea and coffee, and eating bags and bags of Nature Valley granola. 13 1/2 weeks where I was able to burrow in with my new baby, memorize her sweet face, and rest and care for myself. I feel beyond lucky to have gotten this experience and it's a golden time I will always treasure.
And now, 8 pictures of Juniper sleeping, because really that was all of my day.
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